A Matter of Perspective
On December 8, 2004, I started a blog. I wrote under a pseudonym, assuming that it would provide me with enough anonymity to give me the courage to write something that someone else might read. And a few people did read. Not many, but a solid circle of new internet friends was formed.
Then I got a little bolder. I told my brother about the blog. Now it’s one thing to write when the people reading your words aren’t people you see and interact with daily. It’s completely different when someone you know well is reading. My brother has been really cool about it. If he thinks I sound like an idiot, he is at least keeping it to himself!
Over time, I’ve inched out a little more and a little more. I will post links to my blog on Twitter sometimes. I created a Facebook group for sharing links to blog posts. I’m not yet comfortable putting the links on Facebook for everyone and his brother to see, but the group is slowly expanding.
Something happened about six weeks ago that completely blew my mind. My stats blew up one day. I had more views in one afternoon than I’d had in all the previous month (or two) combined. It happened again the next day. It’s happened on a few occasions since. I don’t know where the traffic is coming from or why, but wow!
Combine the occasional jump in stats with the fact that my blog is slowly being discovered by people outside my handpicked “safe” group. A new pastor/colleague/friend in town mentioned my blog to me after our joint Easter Sunrise Service. I didn’t realize she was a RevGalBlogPal until that moment. That’s great! I’m thrilled to have another RGBP so close by. A church member who kept my kids for me last night while I attended my writer’s group mentioned something to me that she only could have known if she had read my blog. That’s cool! It’s impossible to keep life compartmentalized in the world of social media.
I have mixed feelings about becoming more public, though. When you are pretty much anonymous with only a handful of people reading your words – most of whom don’t even life in the same state – then writing feels pretty safe. The internal mean censor will occasionally even go to sleep. But when other family members, community members, and church members begin reading, writing becomes a lot scarier.
You see, this is one place that I want to be me. I don’t want to be Pastor Jan, or Mama Jan, or (fill-in-the-family-relationship) Jan. I want to be myself, even if “myself” might be lazy, or controversial, or un-pastor-like at the moment.
So . . . more people than ever are reading my blog, and that’s GREAT!
So . . . more people than ever are reading my blog, and that’s SCARY!
It’s all a matter of perspective.