I spent a couple of hours last week sitting in the rocking chairs overlooking the Lake Susan dam, reading through different books from the Montreat Bookstore to see if there were any I wanted to purchase. There was one book in particular that caught my eye: Attempting Flight by Kristen Jongen. It was a unique little book – part art, part poetry, part prose. Honestly, it’s the kind of book that I normally wouldn’t give a second glance. For some reason I was compelled to read it cover to cover, stopping a couple of times to jot down quotes that struck me. When I got back to the apartment, I read over them again and wondered why they struck me and why I bothered to write them down. Odd quotes, indeed.
This has been a rough week. As I drove home from the church, exhausted after tonight’s Hands of Christ, I was feeling a strange mix of elated (from the night’s successes) and weepy (from life overall). I remembered writing down those quotes, but couldn’t for the life of me remember exactly what they said, or even what they were about. As soon as I got home I found my journal and flipped until I found it. Kristen wrote:
When I am vulnerable, I will repress the urge to cling. To run after. To beg, convince and remind. Of course, that is not what I want. It is not what I need. Don’t we all want a love that is running towards us with the same speed?
Feeling vulnerable beyond belief right now. Not sure what to do with it, but wondering if the Spirit was equipping me last week for what I would face this week.
Or maybe it’s just a coincidence.
What do you think? Spirit talk or coincidence? Wise words or a bunch a baloney? Right now, I just don’t trust what I think or what I feel.