#reverb10 – Day 11
December 11 – 11 Things What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life? (Author: Sam Davidson)
In no particular order:
1) My middle. This isn’t a typical weight rant (although I could easily be tempted to do that). I have weight in my abdomen that not only is a vanity issue, I know it could become an overall health issue. To eliminate this will take some self-discipline, better meal planning, and more regular exercise. Getting rid of this would improve both my health and my self-esteem.
2) Too much “yes.” When people ask me to do something, particularly professionally, “yes” automatically jumps out of my mouth. As a result I end up doing things that don’t utilize the best of my time and talent. I end up resenting come tasks. (Just ask me sometime about that dang administrative commission. Then again, don’t.) And I end up not being able to do the things I most want and need to do. To eliminate this, I will need to think through my answer and be willing to say no. Getting rid of this will allow me to focus my time and energy in the proper places, which in turn will bring more satisfaction to life.
3) Too much “no.” While I say “yes” too much at work, I tend to say “no” too much at home. The kids will sometimes ask to go places or do things and without hardly a thought I answer with a “no.” Why? It’s unplanned. We’re busy. I’m tired. It might interfere with bedtime, etc. That’s not me! Sometimes I just need to embrace the spontaneity that I really do love and enjoy life with my kids, even if I’m tired. To eliminate this, I need to be willing to give up a little time, a little scheduling, a little energy, and embrace life. Getting rid of this will teach my kids (and me) the joy of experiencing life in the moment.
4) Practicality. I stifle my dreams because they aren’t practical. I can’t afford ___, so why should I even allow myself to think about it? I’m a single mom with a limited amount of energy, so surely I don’t have time to ___. Preachers don’t normally do ___. You get the picture. To eliminate this, I need to ask myself “Why not?” instead of assuming “I can’t” or “I shouldn’t.” Getting rid of this would open up a whole new world of dreams!
5) New debt. I don’t need to explain this one. To eliminate this, I need to learn to live within my means and save for things I want. Getting rid of this would knock out so many financial anxieties.
6) Clutter. I don’t need to explain this one either. Sell, give away, or throw away things I don’t need. I started this when I moved in ‘09 and so far have done pretty good at continuing. I can breathe with less stuff smothering me.
7) Perfectionism. It’s a lifetime struggle that began to manifest as early as 1st grade. I am harder on myself than anyone else ever could be. To eliminate this, I need to continue my journey into self-acceptance and self-love. I’m still trying to figure out what it will feel like to “arrive” and believe that I am enough, just as I am. Improvement is good and often needed, but not required to be a person of worth.
8) Fear. I don’t normally back down to fear, but it does sometimes launch an attack on me when my defenses are down at night. Everything is worse at night – obstacles, possible hurts, mistakes, what-ifs. To eliminate this, well, I’m not always sure how to eliminate it. I try to concentrate on breathing. I pray. Sometimes I simply clench my prayer beads and draw some comfort simply from the concept of prayer. To get rid of fear would mean living in trust – trust that even if things don’t work like I hope/plan/dream/desire, I’m still safe in God’s hands.
9) Caring what other people think. We were raised in my family to believe that this is one of the top commandments. We want people to “think” certain things about us and therefore we end up playing a mad game of charades to make sure they do. It doesn’t matter what “they” think. “They” aren’t worth the wasted energy to convince. Once again, I’m not sure how to eliminate this. It is so deeply ingrained into my psyche. But through awareness, maybe I can let go and live a truly authentic life.
10) Numbing out. It’s been awhile since I spent time studying the enneagram, but if I recall, one of the tendencies of my type (9) is to numb out. It’s a great coping mechanism, but a sorry way to live life. You miss so much. Once again, awareness is the best I know to do. Life is too short to numb out.
11) A long commute. My commute isn’t nearly as long as many others’, but I hate it. I especially hate it in the evening as I feel it eating away my time with my kids. When traffic is particularly bad, about all we have time for when I get home is supper, bath, and bed. That’s no way to parent. Somehow, very soon, that will need to change. I want that time for something better than sitting in traffic.