simplyjan

A Simple Look at a Not-So-Simple Life

Not Necessarily the Answer

Forgive my ranting. I just needed to get this out of my system!

Okay single friends out there – don’t you get sick and tired of people suggesting – sometimes subtly and sometimes directly – that your life would be better/easier/more fulfilling/filled with more opportunities/healthier for your kids (if you have any) if you were married? You know, I’m quite aware of the special challenges that my special family brings. I know all about the juggling act between work and home. I know what it feels like to be the odd (wo)man out at more couple-oriented events. I know these things – really!

However, because of my own past experiences I also know what it is like to have to cater to a spouse the same way I do to my children. I know what it’s like to have my self-esteem and confidence shot through the shredder every single day. I know what it is like to be embarrassed to have friends and/or family over to my house. I know what it is like to constantly have to intervene between my daughter and her father because of his lack of patience and understanding. I know what it is like to wonder how much money will be in the checking account at any given time and what new ‘toy’ might have taken the place of the grocery budget. I know what it is like to get knots in my stomach when I drive in the driveway of my own home, wondering what mood will greet me when I walk in the door.

Marriages, when they are good, are among the greatest blessings of life. Unfortunately, not every marriage falls into that category. In fact, it seems that a pitiful few do. But believe me, well-meaning folks out there who would like to solve my life’s challenges with a man, being single – even a single parent – is a much better, much healthier state of life than being in a bad marriage. So unless you know a particular man whose personality would compliment mine, who would encourage me in my life’s vocation, who would love my children as if they were his own, who would partner with me in every aspect of life – please keep your ill-formed opinion to yourself!

Okay. I feel a little better now.

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2 thoughts on “Not Necessarily the Answer

  1. Ouch…the tactlessness of some people knows no bounds! Sorry you had to receive all that unhelpful “advice”.

  2. Ouch…the tactlessness of some people knows no bounds! Sorry you had to receive all that unhelpful “advice”.

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