Gus has a problem with stuttering. Sometimes I think it is because his brain works faster than his mouth and he has a hard time getting the two together. Sometimes I think it is caused by anxiety. Sometimes . . . well, sometimes he just does. He is in speech twice a week at school. He made tremendous progress until about two weeks ago and now he has regressed again. It is frustrating – for him and for whoever is trying to understand him.
On the way home from the sitter’s house this afternoon, Mia was having a hard time getting her words out. I wonder if she hears his speech pattern so frequently that it starts to sound normal to her? Anyway, after her third unsuccessful try at getting a sentence out she stopped herself and said, “Oh, man, now I’m smuttering, too. Gus, you gave it to me!” (I guess she thinks you can catch it, like a cold?)
Smuttering – that’s how life feels in general right now. Maybe my reality has a hard time keeping up with my dreams or expectations and I just can’t get the two together. Maybe it’s caused by anxiety. Maybe it just is.
I’m pretty confident that it will all come together sooner or later. It’s just hard to feel like I’m making two steps forward only to fall back three steps behind. For the time being, I guess I’ll just have to put up with the frustration. That’s just the way it is with smuttering.